From: latika verma (vermalatika@rediffmail.com)
Date: Thu Oct 24 2002 - 00:33:11 PDT
Date: 24 Oct 2002 07:33:11 -0000 Message-ID: <20021024073311.10697.qmail@webmail36.rediffmail.com> From: "latika verma" <vermalatika@rediffmail.com> Subject: Saree Story
Dear kenna,
Thank you very much for this wonderful incident.
Latika
On Wed, 23 Oct 2002 Kenna wrote :
>Namah Shivaya dear Latika,
>
>Here is the story, which was posted on the list last year.
>
>In Amma's grace,
>premarupa
>Aum Amriteshvaryai Namah
>
>Dear List members,
>
>Our friend and sister Chandrika thought that the list members
>might like to see this description of my seva this summer. I
>hope no offense is caused by any of the stuff below.
>
>Before the summer 2001 tour, Daya from the San Ramon ashram told
>me
>that I had been recommended for some seva. I was secretly
>delighted, thinking that perhaps it was lap seva or
>translation, something glamorous, that involved being close to
>Amma.
>Daya then said that I was supposed to clean the men's toilets,
>and generously offered to let me choose between the
>flush toilets and the pit toilets near the dining area!
>I did do the cleaning, with bleach and everything!
>
>If you remember, last November someone from the San Ramon
>ashram asked Amma about her opinions regarding how women
>were regarded at the Indian ashram.
>Well, Amma announced at that time that I was afraid of women.
>I hadn't told her I was, but I confessed it was true.
>
>She took up the argument
>once again this summer, and accused me of considering women
>as inferior. Again, I admitted that sometimes I did entertain
>such opinions. 'How could you think that, seeing that a
>woman gave you birth?' she scolded me. 'Well, that is how
>all this trouble started, isn't it?' I muttered
>resentfully.
>
>Amma asked me to wear a sari and go and sing
>on stage. I did not want to, and told her that there was
>no sari to wear. Some busybody then piped up that
>there were saris in the store. I told Amma,
>'Surely you don't want me to buy a sari just for this!' and
>quickly went onto the stage to sing. There was no shortage of
>busybodies that day -- another person quickly brought
>a sari from the store, and Amma called me back from the stage.
>
>By now, I figured that I should at least hide my embarrassment,
>and let Amma and some women drape the sari on me. I even
>co-operated, and posed with the sari around my head. Amma
>asked me, 'Why are you so embarrassed? Women wear pants all
>the time. It's ironical that you men (she indicated some of
>us) think women are inferior, but end up worshiping Devi!'
>(She pronounced 'pants' 'Faant', in a countrified way,
>which I found amusing.) Janani was busy videotaping, and
>I called to her to not put all this on some world tour
>cassette. Amma then asked me to wear the sari
>while singing, and I told her that I really didn't want to.
>She said OK. So I took off the sari, and sang Kannante
>Kaalocha.
>
>I wondered whether I had acquired some horrible karma by
>not obeying Amma fully, and wished I had another chance
>to wear the damn sari and sing. I didn't want to take another
>birth as a woman, or as anything at all, for that matter.
>Amma sensed that I was worried, so she told someone 'He
>thinks I asked him to sing wearing the sari, but I didn't
>really.'
>
>The next day I was sitting quietly, and Br. Dayamrita asked
>me why I was not near Amma and joking with her. When I told him
>that I
>wasn't in the mood, he told me that my given name, Nandakumar,
>is not just a name for Krishna, and it meant the boy
>who delights people (Nandakam means delight).
>He indicated that it was my *job* to amuse, and suggested that
>I dress up as Amma. I readily agreed, and wearing one of
>those long dresses and with a white scarf like Amma's around my
>head
>and lower face, I approached Amma with no-one noticing
>anything amiss. There, I pretended to be Amma, and imitated
>her saying 'Sivane Sivane', and scolding the lap seva people.
>Amma found it hugely amusing. She giggled and said to Ravi
>that I should have added coconut shells to my costume.
>When I went for darshan later, I asked Amma how many more births
>I
>would have to take for what I did. I was more worried about
>the onlookers than Amma herself. Amma said that
>I should be free with her, and not think like that.
>
>She asked me to go and sing again, and this time I wore
>the dress and sang Apaara Kripalo. Amma said that she
>liked my singing, and that I sang with feeling, which pleased
>me, of course. I was also not so embarrassed as the previous
>night. Some people told me they found the whole exchange
>very healing and meaningful to them.
>
>The funny thing is, I did get my seva close to
>Amma after all. My seva was to make Amma laugh. Throughout the
>tour,
>people kept asking me to go and make Amma laugh when
>Amma was being too serious, or because they were feeling bored.
>And I was asked to do it whether I was in the mood or not.
>
>Amma asked me why I talked about so much stress in my life;
>she always saw me laughing. I said that my laughter was mainly
>when she was there. Somehow, like being in the shade of a
>tree I suppose, her presence soothes and relaxes.
>
>During darshan in Los Angeles, she whispered in my ear 'my
>daughter,
>my daughter'. I was so surprised, but when I suddenly realized
>what she was saying, I burst out laughing. She laughed too, and
>said,
>'Laughter should always burst out of you just like now.'
>
>Om Amriteswaryai Namah,
>Love,
>Vallath (Nandu) Nandakumar
>
>
>
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>
>______________________________________________________________________
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>
>
>
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