From: hans smedbol (kasi_visvanath@yahoo.com)
Date: Thu Dec 28 2000 - 02:02:47 PST
Message-ID: <20001228100247.85056.qmail@web10408.mail.yahoo.com> Date: Thu, 28 Dec 2000 02:02:47 -0800 (PST) From: hans smedbol <kasi_visvanath@yahoo.com> Subject: RE:Amritanand's reply to Kenna/visvanathan
Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!!
Namaste all!!
thankyou dear brother Amritanand for your kind
and loving corroboration of my investigations and
feelings....i have had these feelings of the
oneness of these beloved Avatars, too, ever since
i met Amma...
i too had first come to SRF...thru the usual
amazing coincidences...our midwife for our first
baby in 1981 was a devotee of Yoganandaji....and
we were so impressed with her family and with
Brother Achalananda when he had come up to BC for
a retreat...that we were inspired to join...and
when i look at the charts for the period vs our
charts...(basically i used a chart for my
daughter's birth as it coincides
perfectly)...what a daughter!!to bring along all
the Gurus with her when She was born...She
herself must be quite a soul....because it was
thru Her birth that we came into this life....
Thru Yogananda i came into contact with Sri
Ramakrsna...but it was only a limited contact
with some rather dry Vedantic versions of His
teachings....the disciples often do this...they
"clean" up the image of their departed Guru, and
a Bhakta, Tantrika, Supreme Lover, becomes a dry
Jnani....overnight almost....as the teacher is
made over into the disciples' images....so i
wasn't toooo drawn to Him....
However years later in the 90's, in fact i
think it was early spring 95, i once again was
blessed with the good fortune (karma!) to "meet"
Bhagavan Sri Ramakrsna, this time thru the eyes
of an ecstatic Bhakta...Lex Hixon, in his "Great
Swan"....an edited paraphrase with added
colouration of parts of the Gospel of Sri
Ramakrsna....and this time i was on fire....just
burning up with Divine Love...in tears, and sobs,
and laughing, and feeling just blissed out by
this Sweet Avatara, and even more blissed out by
His loving words on how He had won the Darshan of
His Beloved Mother Kali.....
i remember such longing to see him....and
regret that i had missed him, just like
Paramahansaji and Christ....and when i would read
those songs that He used to sing....i wished and
wished that i too could have heard his Sweet
voice....gently singing those love songs to His
Mother....i remember discussing this with a
friend who said he too wished that we could meet
someone just like Bhagavan.....
Shortly after that, a friend returned from the
US with a collection of six cassette tapes of the
songs from the Gospel, sung by the monks of the
Ramakrsna order....i was in heaven....now if only
i could meet Him....(even though he was gone a
hundred years and more!!!...he had promised to
return in a hundred years....Hey Bhagavan...your
time is up!!!!!where are you hiding.....?)
Shortly after that (if it was spring 95 as i
think) Linda Johnsen's Daughters of the Goddess
came out....with a moving story of Amma in the
Back....and i've already described what happened
after that.....
in 1998, at Ft. Flagler, when we came to see
Amma as usual...a friend was there who had just
returned from Amritapuri himself....he had also
been to Dakshineswar to the Kali Temple...and had
some photos from both....he had brought me a
lovely photo collage of Bhagavan with Sri Sarada
Devi on both sides of several representations of
Divine Mother in ascending order from a covered
pot...including a picture of the Bhavatarini Kali
Murti. When i saw it i thought it was perfectly
representing how i saw Amma...as all of
them...Bhagavan, Sri Sarada Devi, and Bhavatarini
Kali Ma....so i determined to bring it with me to
Darshan to show Amma...(as if She has not already
seen a hundred of those pictures...and as if
thousands have not already brought it up with
Her!)....
So there i was in the darshan line...getting
closer and closer ...and finally i begin to take
the picture out of its wrapping...crackly noisy
cellophane...i'm so embarrassed at the noise that
i'm not paying attention to anything else....
There was a European lady singin throughout
the Darshan and she was singing Krsna songs...so
i thought she was a major Krsna devotee.....and
this went on for an hour or two...not sure how
long...but as i was taking the picture of Mother
Kali and Bhagavan and Sri Sarada Devi out of the
noisy wrapping....my friend Sumitra (behind me)
suddenly tapped my shoulder and said:
"Listen!!!!" and i did....suddenly, as i had
been unwrapping the Mother, the lady had started
singing a song to Mother Kali!!!!!as if she
knew!!!and continued singing songs to the Mother
until AFTER i got darshan, some twenty or thirty
minutes later.....
so i take the picture up to Amma, and i show
it to Her!! saying...."this is You Amma....Mother
Kali...." (pretty forward of me you might
say!)...
Amma just looked at the picture and casually
said..."Yah!!!Kali!!!" and continued on with the
darshan....and i knew that i had been
right....that She really had let me know who She
really is at that moment.....
later in that retreat, my friend showed me a
picture from India of Mother in the India Tour,
at evening sitting in a chair surrounded by the
children...giving out prasad...cut up
bananas...it was so beautiful, i broke out into a
loud sob and tears just poured down my face, as i
brokenly said: "Oh i wish i could be there!!!!"
with all my heart.....
although my friend hadn't intended giving me
the picture, he just handed it over now...and i
was ecstatic...that's two pictures in two days
from India thru the same Amma friend...pretty
good.
anyways it was Monday morning and we had to
move to Seattle for the free programs....as we
were packing up, my friend Iswari Box (Gia! you
Darling!!) had come over to our van, and invited
us to supper in Seattle at their Camper....we
accepted and we all headed off to Seattle....
Later we arrived at Iswari and Ranjith's
camper and knocked on the door...Iswari opened
the door with a big smile, saying "Guess what's
for supper!" we said: "Spaghetti?"(she had
promised this earlier)...She said: "EVEN
BETTER!!! WE'VE GOT AMMA'S PRASAD!!!!!"
of course i was totally blown away by
this...it turns out that my friend Sumitra had
volunteered to help with the clean up at Amma's
house at Ft Flagler...and there was Leftover food
in the kitchen...Amma's prasad....which she was
allowed to bring to Iswari and share with all of
us....an entire meal (Iswari might have added a
little, but not much)....
Once again i knew that Amma had heard my
innocent cry: for Her Prasad...and had fulfilled
the desire....and blessed all of us at the same
time...Amma is just the most amazing!!!!
So of course i had to take the picture up to
Her to thank Her for the Prasad...(ruin a good
thing or what!)...i handed the picture to Her and
She looked at in wonder like a cute little five
year old kid....and started talking about the
picture...where it was taken and so on....silly,
impatient me, kind of rudely interrupted to say
that i knew this (!! IDIOT!!!) and that i just
wanted to thank Her for the Prasad...(as if She
needed my thanks like that!!...i'm a little
embarrassed to be telling this even...as i feel
like such a turkey sometimes when i look back at
my stupid, insensitive, greedy, childish (not
childlike) not quite, but verging on, boorish
behaviour around my SatGuru over the years...i
turn red inside, just thinkig about it)
Of course Amma made like She knew nothing at
all about it...AS USUAL when you bring such
things up.....
you know i've checked the transits for
"meeting" Paramahansaji, and for meeting Amma for
several people i know...including what Jyotsna
told me of hers...and it seems that the transits
are very similar....for both...and Sani
(Saturn/Kali) seems to be very much involved
(as well as Guru...but Sani and Venus are very
much involved) There are invariably transits of
Sani to Sun or Soon, Venus or ascendant...or
directly aspecting one of these....i've also
noticed that Sri Ramakrsna had that Guru Graha in
Gemini just like Amma, and his Beloved consort,
Sri Sarada Devi had two grahas in Sagittarius in
Mula...Guru and Surya..Jupiter and Sun....so
She's also "one of the family"...since i've been
noticing so many devotees of Amma to have a Graha
(planet) in Mula or directly aspecting it from
across the way in Gemini...it's just TOO common
to be a coincidence in my view....
Just like Amritanand, i too feel the presence
of those beloved Avataras...and they seem to be
One with Amma in that feeling...i feel no
conflict whatsoever...when i read Sri Ramakrsna
or Sri Sarada Devi's teachings, i feel like it is
Amma speaking...so similar is the way that they
express themselves...and i even have them all on
my altar...just like the picture i showed
Amma....Sri Ramakrsna on the left, Sri Sarada
Devi on the right and the Mother...as Kali and
Amma in the middle...i even am using the picture
of Ma Bhavatarini Kali which Sri Sarada Devi used
to worship daily!!!and which is still daily
worshipped by the monks of the Sri Ramakrsna
Order....There feels to be a great Oneness
between all these dear Ones...(and Paramahansaji
too, Who also has a place on the altar of my
heart!)
so dear ones, once again i've gone one for a
while...and it's getting late...so i think i'll
just close for now with a little story of Divine
Mother Sati and Lord Siva....if you've already
read it...that's ok....but i thought it was very
instructive for us.....it's in my paraphrase...so
blame me if you don't like the style.....
When Mother Sati met Lord Siva, He was a
wandering
ascetic, covered in ashes, and wearing all sorts
of disgusting things such as bones, and hides,
and snakes....He probably looked dirty and
unkempt...However Sati saw thru this and fell in
love with him....When She told Her Father,
Daksha, he tried to convince Her to pick another
husband, some highly placed prince or King....but
Her heart was set on Lord Siva...(i can see why!)
So in anger King Daksha cursed his Divine
Daughter Sati, and Her Beloved Lord Siva....he
told Her never to darken his doorway again...and
sent them away....
12 years later, on Mount Kailas, Lord Siva and
Mother Sati learned of the great sacrifice that
King Daksha was putting on....and Mother Sati
wanted to go...Lord Siva on the other hand knew
the score, and didn't care....He didn't want to
go where He wasn't wanted....so He tried to
reason with Sati: "Look dear, your dad cursed us
12 years ago...and he told You never to darken
his doorway again....remember? and why would we
want to go that suffocating party with all those
uppercrust brahmins and kshatriyas anyway....i
much prefer the mountain air here...."
But Sati was determined to go, thinking that
Her father loved Her and would have
relented...and finally Lord Siva said "No!!i
forbid You to go! Your father doesn't want
us...and it's not right to intrude where we're
not wanted!"
Then He closed His eyes to meditate, as the
argument was over as far as He was
concerned....Suddenly a loud roar split the
air...and Lord Siva opened His eyes to behold
Mother Kali....and a very angry Mother
Kali...yelling and waving Her sword around...He
turned around in fright...but there was Mother
Bhairavi...surrounded in flames and looking like
She'd like to eat Him...turned again and Smashan
Tara with Her Bloody Sword and cruel fangs....and
wherever He turned there was a Goddess...ten of
them, the Dasa Mahavidyas..and They were all
"after" His blood, roaring and menacing Him with
Their weapons.....
At this point, realizing He was done for, He
just gave up and said "Alright you can go!!!but i
don't like it." so She resumed Her usual sweet
loving form, and headed off to the sacrifice,
whereat She and Her Husband were so insulted by
Daksha that She took Mahasamadhi....Lord Siva
learning instantly of this raged down out of the
Himalayas and grabbing His Beloved's lifeless
body tore off madly in all directions, after
first commanding his pals, the Ganas to destroy
the sacrifice, and Daksha and any of his
supporters....What a mess....
Lord Siva raged about the universe with that
corpse on His shoulder doing the dance of
destruction....but Lord Visnu and Brahma and all
the other Devis and Devas, saw this and concerned
that it wasn't quitting time for this universe
just yet....tried to figure out what to do...Lord
Visnu had a plan...the Sudarshana chakra flew
from His Graceful Hand...snipping off a part of
Sati, to fall below to earth...another throw,
another slice...another throw, another
slice...and this continued until Sati's entire
body had fallen in pieces from Lord Siva's
shoulder to the earth below....and in Sakta
tradition, wherever a portion of the Goddess
fell, the place became a Holy site (a Sakta
Pitha), and a temple would be raised
there....those sites are still commemorated today
with the same temples....Lord Siva then relieved
of the burden, lost His madness, and resumed His
sadhana on Mount Kailas....
Once again the Devas grew alarmed....They
wanted Him to be more involved...so They hatched
another plan......Lord Visnu asked Sati in Her
Divine Mother, Goddess form, in Deva loka, if
She'd like to go on down again to hang out with
Lord Siva....She agreed happily as She still
Loved Him...and took a birth as Parvati...the
Daughter of the Mountain King Himavat....when She
grew up, She searched out Lord Siva on Mt
Kailas...and proceeded every day to do pada
puja....However He was in permanent samadhi...so
He never even noticed....But every day She would
be there with Her flowers, and water, and sweets,
and so on, and worship Her Beloved's feet.
The Devas noticing that She was unsuccessful
at arousing Lord Siva's interest....came up with
another plan....they sent the spirit of Spring
along with Kamadeva down, and they hid behind the
trees....suddenly it was Spring...all the birds
were singing...the flowers blooming...and along
comes the beautiful Parvati with Her Pada Puja
gear....and proceeds to perform Her usual Pada
Puja....Just as She is touching Her Beloved's
foot,while applying sandalwood paste...Kamadeva
looses off a flowery arrow....straight into Lord
Sivas heart...startled, His eyes fly open, and He
spies Parvati....and Kamadeva and friends....
However annoyed at His meditation being
disturbed by that impetuous Kamadeva, He opens
His third eye and incinerates Kamadeva....
Parvati, annoyed at the lack of interest
decides She's had enough of this Pada Puja and
will head off to Her own mountain to do Sadhana
Herself, Sadhana for the attainment of Lord Siva
as Husband....after some time, Lord Siva starts
to notice a glow in His local Astral world...and
interested, He sets out to find the
source....whereupon He meets the Lovely Parvati
and falls madly in love with Her....and everyone
lives happily ever after (with a few quarrels and
make-ups just like in ordinary human folks...)
i hope you enjoyed my little story...thanks to
the traditional stories.....
In Amma's Divine Love,
and in Her Service,
i loving salute you all,
Amma's darling children!!!
bowing again and again!
as ever,
Your Own Self,
visvanathan
Om Amrtesvaryai Namah!!!
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